Friday Fictioneer 100 Word Story: Delusion

Delusion

Jack and Molly were starving. Recently incarcerated for schizophrenia, and without an automobile, they were clearly on the outside looking in. They had been trying to get food, but it seemed you had to have a car to get any attention at the drive-up window. They hadn’t had a meal since the institution, where, along with food, they got the drugs that eradicated their moth delusion. The hospital pronounced them cured, let them out into the world, but ever since no one seemed to notice them or even to hear them when they spoke. Now they could feel their wings.

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54 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneer 100 Word Story: Delusion

  1. Such a surprising take on the moths as MCs you took me off guard by their names

  2. rochellewisoff says:

    Hahaha! Now that’s some delusion! Fun!

  3. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Carlos,

    Jack and Molly are fortunate to have imultaneous moth delusions. Between the two of them they can fly off with a couple of fries. Delusion and Invasion are both fine takes on the prompt.

    Thanks for stopping by my rock concert. As usual, I’m going to leave my link for any of Jack and Molly’s friends.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/mothley-crue-chicks-trouble/

    • Well, I never was good at detail; one of the many banes of my life. Interesting idea, though, imultaneous delusions. For another story perhaps. Maybe moths are capable of having simultaneous delusions. Thanks for commenting, Doug.

  4. dmmacilroy says:

    ‘simultaneous!’ 😀

  5. Carlos, I hate you so much. This story is totally fantastic. You have outdone even yourself! Grrrrr.
    Lindaura

  6. Kaitlin says:

    Oh, I love it. The final reveal kind of left me breathless. Great timing. http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/05/25/angel-in-a-polyester-uniform/

  7. TheOthers1 says:

    I’m glad they are a pair in their mental dysfunction. Nothing sadder than a single crazy moth released in the world. At least here they are crazy together.

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/chasing-the-divine/

  8. A clever allegory for alienation? In any case, wonderfully written Carlos, as always.

  9. I think delusion is probably always a response to alienation — thanks, Craig.

  10. Amanda Gray says:

    Ha-ha leave it up to an “institution” to cure you of reality! Good job hope they get back to normal.
    here’s mine http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/friday-flash-fiction-not-moving-on/

  11. erinleary says:

    Carlos, I really enjoyed this. Great take on the prompt and really well done in so few words.

    Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/flight-path/

  12. Scott Hays says:

    Wry, dark … it made ME laugh. Even though Invasion seemed intentionally to be more humorous, this one cracked me up! Actually, in a twisted sort of way, I see a real connect between the two stories … questions of scale and perception figuring prominently in both. What if these “moths” (in “Delusion”) are simply trying to convince themselves that they really are moths, having just been released from an institution run by moths …

    • Anything is possible… we’re really in Phillip K Dick territory here, always questioning reality until he became quite delusional himself, believing many of the things he wrote about that we thought were fictions but he thought were real. My head is hurting already. Thanks, Scott.

  13. Atiya says:

    Wow what a peek into the mind of an unwell person. That last line made me panic for them and pity them at the same time. So well written. My share is over here: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/05/friday-flash-fiction-best-hubby-ever.html I’m off to read your second story right now.

    • Thank you, Atiya, I very much appreciate your comment; I think you read it the way I wrote it. This one I wrote after the other story because I wanted to write something more serious – my last few stories have been pretty light.

  14. teschoenborn says:

    What a twisted sense of humor, and sense I’m still laughing as I type this, know that you are not alone. Brilliant, simply brilliant!

    Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/25/friday-fictioneer-perspective/

  15. Kwadwo says:

    Two humorous stories from one picture.
    Most of us struggled to come up with one story.
    Well done!

    here’s mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/05/25/mothballs/

    • I liked this prompt and found it stimulating. I wanted to write a heavier story than my first one, Invasion, so I wrote a second and I think it was, but it’s hard for me to write these without some amount of humour; that’s just me, I think. Thank you for your comment.

  16. Nifti says:

    I liked it Carlos. I am stalking everyone’s blog today to see what they came up with from that prompt. Still working up the nerves to join in. Good job with the story, very original.

  17. elmowrites says:

    This is just genius, Carlos. Now I’m wondering who was the more deluded – the moths or the doctors! My only quibble is “Recently incarcerated” made me think they were still in captivity, which threw me for the first half of the story. I would go with “Until recently incarcerated…” just to be clear. But by the end I’d forgotten my confusion and was totally hooked. This could be a much longer story!
    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/friday-fictioneers-drive-thru/

    • Your quibble is quite right. I can’t add any more words – I stick to the 100 words like a crazy obsessive-compulsive – but that could have been done better. Maybe “Recently released”… I remember having the word “now” before “without an automobile” which would have implied the incarceration was in the past, but I deleted it to get down to 100 words at some point. Getting it just right is all very delicate, isn’t it?

      • elmowrites says:

        Absolutely agree, Carlos. I’m a 100-word-wonder too, so I sympathise. And as you said in your other reply, I think it’s a really good writing exercise to force yourself into the word limit. If you want to crowbar “now” or “until” into that sentence, how about “they’d been trying” rather than “they had”?

  18. The Lime says:

    Delusion indeed! I’m back this week. Was excited to read yours and you did not disappoint 🙂

  19. This one is my favorite of the two. Centering the story around two people with a moth delusion was just brilliant. If they can’t get served at McD, I have a wool sweater they’d love. Do you know where I can get the drugs you mention, the ones to repress the moth delusion? Must fly now.

  20. Gilly Gee says:

    So, so clever – deluded moths, thanks you really entertained me!

  21. I love the line “…seemed you had to have a car to get any attention at the drive-up window.” You have a great understated sense of humor, but it also reveals the harsher side of life. So, in one stroke you evoke joy and sorrow. Well done.
    Here’s mine: http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-b6

  22. Ooh! So who’s crazy – Jack and Molly, or the doctors who sent them out to flutter around the world on their own??

  23. Two very different but very inspired takes on the prompt. Moth delusions….that must be awkward having to eat your own wardrobe, eh? And Moths in Space…what a concept. Both nicely done.

    • Carlos says:

      Thanks, Jeffrey. Well, those suffering from delusional behaviour frequently don’t act in their own interests; of course, it would depend on the quality of the wardrobe I suppose. And many of our sci-fi aliens are just big insects, so we should be used to it by now.

  24. dbfurches says:

    You know, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem…
    Mine’s here: http://stonesoupnovelist.com/2012/05/24/a-scene-from-the-novel-the-alchemists-tower/

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